Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first says, “Can I have a glass of H2O.”
The second chemist says “Can I have a glass of water too.”
The first chemist broke down in tears - his assassination attempt had failed.
- A: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
- B: He's 0K now.
- Arcadian5656: A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5ft to the left, the chemist takes a shot and misses 5ft to the right, the statistician yells "We got 'em!"
- theoriginalmawz: That joke was MEAN...
A physicist, a mathematician and an engineer stay in a hotel.
The engineer is awakened by a smell and gets up to check it. He finds a fire in the hallway, sees a nearby fire extinguisher and after extinguishing it, goes back to bed.
Later that night, the physicist gets up, again because of the smell of fire. He quickly gets up and sees the fire in the hallway. After calculating air pressure, flame temperature and humidity as well as distance to the fire and projected trajectory, he extinguishes the fire with the least amount of fluid.
The mathematician awakens, and finds another fire in the hallway. He looks out the door, see the extinguisher, then goes back to bed. The solution has been left as an exercise for the reader.